Coping with Food: why we do it and how to change it
People often have 1 of 2 reactions to stress when it comes to food: stress-eat or the appetite is gone. Some have a combination where the appetite is lost and then more food is consumed than intended (the body’s way of compensating for the earlier lack of nourishment). Either way, our food choices are often impacted when we’re dealing with stress or other uncomfortable emotions.
There are biological, environmental, and physiological explanations for why we turn to food when tough emotions arise. And yet, there’s a lot of bad rap when it comes to coping with emotions with food. One of the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating is all about interrupting food as a coping tool for hard emotions. Asking ourselves whether or not coping with emotions through food is good or bad isn’t a helpful question.
Rather than asking, when is it okay/not okay to cope with emotions through food, a question that I think supports greater freedom around food is, “Do I feel choice and consent with what’s happening?”
This blog post reviews some of the explanations for why food is often a go-to choice for dealing with hard emotions an explores possibles ways to incorporate more choices with that dynamic.
We cannot survive without food and our biology tells us that eating is pleasurable. The gut and the central nervous system share an intimate connection that’s been widely study called the Gut-Brain Axis. Neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, both of which impact mood among other things, are mostly produced in the gut. Simple put, these feel-good neurotransmitters are produced when we eat, thereby rewarding us for the act with positive feelings.
Parents and guardians of infants can affirm the positive feedback-loop we humans have with food. They will be the first to confirm that nurturing a baby with food is one of the best ways to calm down an upset child. This doesn’t necessarily go away as we age. Combine this with the smell’s powerful connection to memory, food can quickly become sentimental and remind us of loved ones long after they’re gone. This is a powerful, important element of cultural preservation. The comfort we gain from food that is associated with loving relationships and people is real.
The tendency to invalidate the soothing effect of food is particularly high when we exist in diet culture; a way of being and interacting with food and bodies that elevates food scarcity in the pursuit of thinness. In this setting, it’s easy to under-nourish ourselves. This may feel counter-intuitive when food is available everywhere we go and people’s sense of control around food is often fleeting. But more often than not, when I ask people what they typically eat in a day, its often 75% or less of their energy needs. In this circumstance, getting adequate nourishment will have a physiologically calming effect in a similar way that getting enough sleep will.
All that to say, food is innately soothing for our systems but like most things, when food feels like the only option and our choice feels taken away, we can begin feeling resentful. People who want to shift the role food plays in navigating emotions, often experience:
emotional suppression: eating as a way to push-down feelings or numb with food
emotional suppression: not-eating as a way to numb their connection to their body
a lack of choice around food: feeling as though agency is absent around food or the amount eaten
disconnection from the body: going through the motions of eating without experiencing it
triggering emotions: certain emotions lead to certain food behaviors
If the experiences above resonate with you and you want to shift the role food plays in your efforts to cope with uncomfortable emotions, grab a pen and paper, or something with which you can reflect on the following questions.
Consider the things you find soothing: this can include activities, such as walking, puzzles, or listening to a good book. This can also include sensations: what sounds, sights, textures, smells, and tastes bring you comfort, help your shoulders drop, and your breath be deeper? If you can, write them all down.
Notice what you have time for: our lives become full quickly. Of the activities or elements that bring you soothing, which ones do you have space in your day or week to experience? If food is the only one you experience regularly, offer yourself compassion.
Identify something you can commit to 3-9 minutes to: research indicates we can spend as little as 9 minutes in a physical activity a day in effort to experience the positive health benefits of exercise. Let’s apply that to incorporating just 3-9 minutes of a soothing activity into your day even when you don’t need it.
Build trust through repetition: one reason food can be the first thing we turn toward when stressed, sometimes even subconsciously, is because we’ve practiced reaching for it for comfort and experiencing the soothing effect. Another way of saying this is, we’ve built trust with food as a coping strategy.
Practice consistent, adequate nourishment: building trust no only takes practice but also requires a level of risk-tolerance. We are more likely able to tolerate the risk of a new soothing strategy when we are adequately nourished.
Curious to learn more? I’d love to hear from you!
